I'm feeling a bit stressed at the moment. Excited, yet stressed. We have house guests coming this afternoon - an old college friend who I haven't seen in ages & her daughter - and they are staying three nights. I'm pretty sure my friend doesn't read my blog and I pretty double certain that she doesn't eat 80/10/10 or even know what it is.
Boy is she in for a surprise!
So I've been looping around in my head how to invite her into our home, be a good hostess, indulge her in some vacation food all while staying true to my (er, our...this affects hubby too) commitment to an 80/10/10 lifestyle. This is one of "those situations" that often keeps people from changing their lifestyle when they project how life will be different & challenging.
Of course, you know this is all so much deeper than food. It's about staying true to yourself about anything while being compatible with others whether at work, home or play. It's a arduous balance to achieve and there are several ways to approach it.
Option #1 aka The Chad Golden Method: Eat 80/10/10 as usual, and if the house guests are hungry for something other than fruit then they can eat elsewhere. Or they can stay and eat fruit. It'll be good for them. When in the Golden house, eat as the Goldens do. (This is what you get when you ask hostess advice from a guy.)
Option #2 aka The "This is How I Was Raised" Carla Golden Method: Inconvenience no one but yourself. Do not rock the boat. Make life simple & easy for others. Don't stand out or be different. Put other's needs & wants first. Play along while secretly dreaming of watermelon juice, cherries, bananas & spinach. Feel like crap for three days and take two weeks to recover from the "regular" food binge. Be completely accommodating.
Option #3 aka The Love & Share Method: Chad and I love our new 80/10/10 lifestyle. We feel great, sleep great, are enjoying high energy and activity levels and like what & who we see in the mirror. Why would we not want to share the love, freedom & joy that we've discovered? Wouldn't it be a disservice to conceal all this goodness, liberation and knowledge?
I am reminded of the famous, nearly overused, quote by Marianne Williamson but it bears repeating here:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
When you and I live in our light & our truth, without a trace of shame, it is a service to others regardless of the topic.
This is how I see our visit play out in regards to food, a solution that keeps everyone in their light: Chad and I stick with our 80/10/10 way of eating, invite our friend to partake with us if she chooses. If she would rather feed herself and child different food then we can call for take-out or make a run to the grocery store. We'll go out to eat a time or two to a restaurant where we know that there will be options for everyone.
It reminds me of parallel play where children play side-by-side but are engaged in different activities. It's a healthy developmental stage. So we will do some parallel eating where we will eat side-by-side but will partake of different foods. No biggie!
It might be challenging to have our friend cook or bring in standard fare into our 80/10/10 home but this is how we'll stay true to ourselves while being accommodating. We will not impose our lifestyle on her nor will we acquiesce to the status quo.
And anyway, whoever said that everyone at the same table has to eat the same food? It doesn't happen in a restaurant so why does it have to happen in the home? I think the cook (aka Mom) makes this rule! Well, if the cook is happy to share kitchen space (and I am!), then let the parallel eating method commence!
Be well, Almost an Impeccable Hostess Carla.
1. Are you reluctant to change your lifestyle for fear that life with others will get difficult & challenging? If so let me know what one step you'll take to stay in your light (hint: assure others that they don't have to change with you, think creatively about how old rituals & new habits can co-exist) by commenting on this post or on Facebook. Forward & share this blog post with friends & family so they can contemplate change too. Click those cute social media buttons below to spread the message.
2. . Find a Nutrition Counselor or 68 other types of therapists where you live on WellnessDestinationsCentral.com.